so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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