Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Randomize
