On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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