I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
