Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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