Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Randomize
