So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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