Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
