I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize