just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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