the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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