Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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