My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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