i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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