she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
