if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
This is classic penis vs brain.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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