you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
