ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
