He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
