I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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