just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
