I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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