you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
