I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
