on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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