we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
