Duck Duck Cougar?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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