She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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