is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
