best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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