I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
