Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
