he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
