Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
