Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
