I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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