You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
