youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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