what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
