I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
