Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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