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• (616): View more from Michigan

  no weekend plans? you're practically married

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  just without the last name or joint bank account

  (616): View more from Michigan

  i'd advise against both

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"

  (1-703): View more from Virginia

  where do you find these guys?

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are

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• (409): View more from Texas

  i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it

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• (660): View more from Missouri

  I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.

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