I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
