just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
