I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
