Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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