Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
