i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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