im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
