it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
