I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
