I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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