guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
