I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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