Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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