She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
