Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
