I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
pray to the hookup gods
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Damn victory sex feels great
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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