Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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