So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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