I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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