she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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